The Old Armchair

Now, my grandmother she,
At the age of 93,
One day in May was taken sick and died;
And after she was dead,
The will, of course, was read
By a lawyer as we all stood by his side.
To my brother it was found,
She had left a hundred pounds,
The same unto my sister I declare,
But when it came to me,
The lawyer said, ‘I see,
She’s left to you the old arm chair’.

CHORUS: How they tittered, how they chaffed,
How my brother and my sister laughed,
When they heard the lawyer declare,
‘Granny’s gone and left to you the old arm chair.’

Well, I thought it wasn’t fair,
But I said I didn’t care,
And in the evening took the chair away.
My sister laughed
And my brother he chaffed,
Saying, ‘It will come in useful, John, some day.
When you settle down in life,
Take unto yourself a wife,
The chair will come in handy, I declare.
On a cold and windy night,
When the fire’s burning bright,
You can snuggle in your old arm chair.’

What my brother said was true,
For in a year or two,
Sure enough I settled down to married life.
I first a lass did court,
Then the ring I bought
And I took her to the church to be my wife.
My wife and me
We were as happy as could be,
And in the evening when my work was done,
I never abroad would roam;
I’d prefer to stay at home,
Sitting in my old arm chair.

Now one night the chair fell down.
When I picked it up, I found,
The seat had fallen out upon the floor,
And there to my surprise,
Lying right before my eyes –
A bunch of notes – five hundred pounds or more.
When my brother heard of this,
The fellow I confess,
Went nearly mad with rage and tore his hair,
But I only looked at him,
And said unto him, ‘Jim,
Don’t you wish you had the old arm chair’.